I just got a phone call from a Smart Communications agent and reminded me of my inquiry for the iPhone 4S.

I completely forgot all about registering for an inquiry on the price.

When I saw that Smart will also release the iPhone 4S in conjunction with their postpaid plans, I got excited. I wanted to get a postpaid plan for the longest time, I just don't know when is the right time.

When the iPhone 3GS was released, only Globe had the exclusive hold on it in the Philippines, so I ended up buying an open line one because I was skeptic as to getting a postpaid line with Globe because of all the negative comments I have heard from other people, friends & family. And getting a postpaid line means that I would have to be with them for 2 years.

I was like, they were complaining with signal loss and difficulty getting through, so why put myself in that same spot when I don't experience anything majorly bad (so far) from my existing telecommunications company?

So I waited.

I wanted an iPhone 4S, but not to the point that I wanted it so bad. I was waiting for the right time to purchase it.

So the call couldn't come any less of a perfect timing for me to get a postpaid line in my preferred telco, Smart.

I consider this a reward for waiting. The Lord knows I want it and I have waited for it and he's now giving it to me.

Yes, it may mean spending, but blessings doesn't necessarily mean that it's free. It may come in other sort of form, like a discount or a practical way to spend money.

So yeah, iPhone 4S, I'm ready for you. :">

Go Beyond the Cover

I love this ad. It gives a special message. :)

The hustle bustle of the holidays

It's kinda easy to detect that the holidays are very near. Aside from the usual Christmas decors and lights on each houses, there's traffic during lean hours of the day, no parking spots in malls, sudden sale in boutiques. Yep, you name it, it's there.

For someone who is a little short on cash, I am now thinking what I could give to family that is practical and very useful. I am not the kind of person who gives just so I can say that I gave a gift. I want the gift to mean something to the recipient. My EQ in that department is just so low.

I have lots of perfect gift ideas. In my head. Yeah, I said "in my head" because I think about it but I don't have the means to buy it. And I don't have the time. Sad, but true.

Ironically, when I have the time, I don't have the money. When I have the money, I don't have the time. These two don't really go hand in hand in my life.

Most people tell me, it's okay, it's not about the gift, it's about the essence of Christmas, that your family is together and stuff. But believe me, you will feel bad for not even making an effort to go out and buy the first thing that you can get your hands on to give to friends & family. I know, I've been there. Especially if you're like earning and stuff.

But as I said, time & money don't go hand in hand. I don't have the time as I am in the office the whole day. I go to work in the South, and go home in the North. Strategic, huh?

This year, I'm going to make it different. I will make an effort to go out to the jungle that's called malls, bazaars, etc. to be able to get something for each people who is important to me. I think I owe it to them for being such blessings in my life.

Now, I just gotta make money and time work with me. :)

Merry Christmas everybody!

The Damned

It sucks when that happens to you. That no matter what you say or do, you still get persecuted for it. Even if you're not arguing with them.

I say something, they take it against me. I don't say something, they think I don't care.

I know they want to rant like anything but sometimes, their rantings are irrational and it comes to a point that you just want to say something to make them see the "other side" of things. Not completely argue with them.

I am a person of diplomacy and I like to think that there is a reason for every action and reaction. It just doesn't work one way. It takes two, and I'm the kind of person who finds that out before even making my own rationale of things. But sometimes, whether I like it or not, people can be so irrational sometimes, and I can't do anything about it but to accept the fact that they are like that.

But I am one who won't let you go without thinking about something other than your own interpretation of things. As much as possible, if I have the chance, I make them see the other side of things so they can later reflect on it and make their own interpretation. The side that they don't get to see because they're too cooped up with their own emotions and thoughts that all they think about is that they're right.

In depth and dance (Independence :p)

Independence.

Simple word but means very big. Maybe at one point in our life, we got to experience "small" independence, like being able to buy stuff with our own money. Or maybe being able to make decisions on our own.

But the kind of independence I am looking for is when I will be able to live in my own place. And I think, at 27 years old, it's not much of a question as to why I want to do it or if it would get any bad reactions from the parents.

I envy those who are the same age as me and sometimes, even younger, that they have a place they can call their own. I want to have that.

I'm talking about owning a place. Paying for your own bills. Cooking your own meal. Having your own visitors. Having your family visit you once in a while. I want that kind of privilege. Yes I call it a privilege, because not everybody can have that.

Don't get me wrong, it's always a joy to have family around, but sometimes, you just need some alone time. And that "alone" time is not limited to locking yourself in your room and going out whenever you're ready. I was raised very family-oriented, with siblings and cousins and relatives around me, so maybe for my part, I didn't really thought about it that much because I never thought that I would need it. At my age, most people I know already have their own family & their own house. But God has different plans for me.

Sad to say that I think it will still take me some time to be able to stand on my own. Financially, I wouldn't make it. My job right now isn't very stable.

But I know soon I will be able to make it. If not now, maybe later. Oh, there's another phrase to live by. :)

The memory of a love that never was

Dumbledore: "I use the Pensieve. One simply siphons the excess thoughts from one's mind, pours them into the basin, and examines them at one's leisure. It becomes easier to spot patterns and links, you understand, when they are in this form."

Harry: "You mean... that stuff's your thoughts?"

Dumbledore: "Certainly."

— Albus Dumbledore to Harry Potter^[src]

The Pensieve is an object used to review memories. It has the appearance of a shallow stone basin, into which are carved runes and strange symbols. It is filled with a silvery substance that appears to be a cloud-like liquid/gas; the collected memories of people who have siphoned their recollections into it. Memories can then be viewed from a third-person point of view.

(from the film Harry Potter)

For me, this blog is my "Pensieve". My memory container. I will imagine taking a certain memory out of my head and putting it in a bottle and just revisit it whenever I like.

This is the first time I will be doing this. Maybe it's also a good idea so I will let it out of my thoughts. I have already moved on since this was 7 years ago. I just wanted to write it down and now is the right time to do so.

I have been in a relationship with someone younger than me when I was 18 years old. We were neighbors and friends when we were younger, but not the "kababata" kind. We became friends when we first moved to our house then. I was still in high school. Then we lost touch. But because of technology, we got close, texting each other and such. I used to have a crush on his friend. I think that's how I became close to him. His friend was the good looking one. He, on the other hand, was smaller than me and not being mean, was not really in the good looking department but he was also not bad looking and he has a good heart. Through all those texting and talking, we eventually became closer. He then expressed intent in courting me and I didn't know how to respond. It just happened one day, it just became "us".

technology vs real face time

The social network can be a bit scary if you are not too careful. Not everything that's in that little head of yours can be said aloud so sometimes, we decide to write it down in ways like this blog, a status update on facebook or twitter. A lot of people do that, mostly on twitter. Tweeting about their current feeling, their rants, what they're doing at the moment, what's been going on in their lives. So if one person reads your tweets and decides to put a connection in between whatever you posted, they could come up with what they think is the "story of your life".

I admit, I am guilty of doing that but I am not stupid to not know if a certain post will be offensive or not.

I just find it also funny how people can be oh so friendly online but when they actually meet eye to eye, that "closeness" online suddenly disappears and you instantly realize that you don't really know a thing about this person. I, also, have been guilty of that. :p

In my opinion, Facebook and twitter also took out the element of mystery in getting to know a certain person. Yes, you have met, you have talked, but the moment you go online, you immediately start searching for him/her online in facebook or twitter or wherever. You start knowing somebody from facts in the net, which you are not even sure if those were true.

Learn to accept the things you can't change

Hello Blog world, we meet again.

Last entry was February. 4 months ago. Wow. What have I been doing huh?

Those 4 months did not just pass by. It left its mark. A combination of stress, disappointment, laughter, and other emotions synonymous to the mentioned words.

In a nutshell, the past 4 months was Chaotic in a word.

Most were work-related, but what's new? Majority of what's happening in my life revolves in my work. I'm not saying that it's top priority, it never is. It's just what's keeping me busy if I'm not doing anything work-related.

I can't say I'm complaining, I LOVE what I do, but sometimes, it can just really get to you.
I dealt with people who can't seem to understand the nature of what we actually do. I dealt with people who's comprehension level could measure up to the temperature at the North Pole. I dealt with people who's just in it for the money (who can blame them?) But hey, you just gotta exercise PATIENCE.

Had I made an entry within those 4 months, my blog would've been full of ranting and negativity. But now, all I want to do is just look back and think about the things I learned from those unfortunate things and treasure the happy parts.

I wish to close that chapter of my work life. If there is something to learn, it would be, to learn to accept the things you can't change.

Sanctuary no more..

It used to be my sanctuary. My home away from home.

When I have problems, I go to that place to just let my anger fade away.

But lately, I haven't been feeling that anymore. Maybe this is what moving on feels like. Or just plain drifting away to the background.

I don't have anywhere to go. I really don't. So maybe I'll just suck it in and go with the flow.
I hate going with the flow. But maybe it's something I should go through.

I feel that old familiar feeling again. Missing the people who have been significant in my life. They have all moved on. I got stuck here. Well, it was my choice. Mainly because I really don't have experience or skill to try other things. In this world, to be able to survive, you gotta learn the ropes.

I need to get myself out of the box, but fear is what's keeping me from doing it. Yeah, I say that we should take risks. But somehow, I couldn't do that, especially if I'm not equipped with what the world requires me to have. :|

Hugs.

When I look at the arms or the hands of people I like or I'm crushing on, I tend to imagine what it would be like having their arms around me or them holding my hand.

I am a hugger. I would rather be hugged than be kissed (although, that's a nice thing also. ;>)

For me, hugs are more romantic. It let's out a certain emotion or feeling of surrender.
Like, if you had a bad day, and you see your special person, just one hug releases all the bad things you felt and you instantly feel relieved.

I get so *kilig* just by the thought of hugging. :">

For me, hugs are the best thing a guy could give to a girl, other than kisses. :">

Holding hands come second. I have a thing for guys with nice hands.

I am always told that I have nice hands myself, which sometimes, I totally deny, but I must admit, it is my favorite body part (next are my legs).

There is a certain aspect of being physically in contact that makes me feel more secured. And it doesn't always have to be in an intimate way. Most people would think that being physically in contact with somebody can lead to intimacy. That's another level, and I think you call it lust already, not hugs and cuddling. ;)

Someday, I will have somebody I can hug, hold hands and cuddle with and be able to feel so protected and loved. <3