i don't think i'll ever be ready...

I'm preparing myself for something that I don't think anybody will ever be prepared for. It's something that is not usually talked about, it's even sometimes too morbid to talk about. I'm taking about death. As of this moment, while I'm writing this blog, my mom and my dad are on the way to the hospital (God knows where) because my grandfather (mom's father) is being rushed there because he is having difficulty breathing and his blood pressure is so low. He has liver cirrosis. No, he's not a drinker. That's the surprising part. Maybe he got that from taking all the strong meds for his stroke, i really don't know. All i know is, the doctor gave him six months since the disease was detected, and that was last January. And it's june now, so.....

Gloomy realizations...

Just came from the Land down Under. It was so cool! It was my first time to go to Australia and I was really excited even though I know it's all going to be work, but what the heck, i found fun in between the work. The work part, I can handle. I'm used to that. :p

What really sucked was, I was in Australia on my birthday, so technically, having your birthday in a foreign country, with people you know but are not really close to you (except for my aunt and my cousin), is kinda droll.
I missed my family, I missed being at home and having people text or call to greet me. I missed the simple joy of eating "pansit". And to top it all, it was my 25th birthday! I wasn't even thinking about it before we left, not until the day of my birthday came and I really felt it. Looking back, I have a lot of could have's. which sucks. because i hate having to say "i could have...".

But thanks to my family, who took me out the day after I returned from Australia and my cousins who still managed to squeeze in a "mini" celebration in between a children's party, and laugh about it.

Simple things, simple happiness..

Sometimes, I just look for appreciation in the wrong places. Silly me. :|